Scoring Brownie Points!

What’s a guy to do?

I got a call from a family member a couple of days ago: “Jodie, I need your expertise – help!”

Seems that this year, he and his wife decided to only spend $50 on each other in the form of stocking stuffers. Instead of one or two grandiose presents for Christmas, he now had to find *many* small ones. Eeep!

Here is what I suggested he go hunt for:

• Visit the warehouse/big box stores (like Wal-Mart, Superstores etc.) and look for pre-made gift baskets. You can find many different “themes” (like coffee, bath or writing) for anywhere from $5 to $25. Take them apart and put each item in the stocking as a separate gift. You can get 2 or even 3 of these baskets and even end up with more than you need!
• Dollar stores are great places too: you can find some fun costume jewelry, hair accessories or even things like funky napkin rings, personalized pens, incense and inexpensive candles (which can come in sets too – look for the ones that come with matching holders – something else to take apart and wrap separately!).
• Find a little “Your horoscope for the year” booklet or scroll
• Many bookstores will have displays with mini-books or mini-kits like Running Press’ offerings – perfect stocking size.
• Buy a box/bag of individually-wrapped chocolates (like Ferrero Rocher, for example, which happen to be my favorite *hint* *hint*) to place in-between the gifts as you fill the stocking. Don’t use liquid-filled ones in case any get crushed.
• Go to the mall and you’ll see accessory places and buy some silly things for her hair (clip-on colored hair extensions), feet (socks with toes), and face (glitter eye-shadow). She may not ever use these things, but they will give her a good laugh, and that’s worth it!

That should really get you started. Good rule of thumb: try to get things she’d want – not necessarily things she’d need.

One more thing: don’t forget the wrapping paper (the dollar store is good for that especially if you need to remain within the $50 budget including the paper). Yes, you need to individually wrap each item. Bonus points for sticking on bows and/or ribbon on all or some of them.

Happy Hunting!

Jodie

A wonderful way to make her smile, and show her you have been paying attention Essentially, you will be putting a flower (does not have to be roses; can be tulips, or daisies or a mix – rose just rhymed for the title) in her “path” as she normally goes about her day. Here is the step-by-step guide (Printable checklist here):

What you need to do…

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Stage One: Preparation

Observe, for a day or two, what she does in the morning as she starts her day. Take note of where she goes: bathroom, closet, kitchen, front door, car…

Then, reverse the process and observe what she does on her way home: car, door way, mailbox, stairs… Try and get at least 4 spots each way minimum.

Do some detective work and choose a day to surprise her where:

• she doesn’t have anything else planned
• she will have normal working hours
• she could be eating lunch away from her work (or just find out what she does for lunch, normally)
• you can go to work and both arrive and leave early (the point is so that you can leave the house before her, and get home before her)

Order enough flowers to put at least one per spot. Have them arrive the day before *where you will get them first, without her seeing them*, keep them somewhere cool and make sure they stay wet. Maybe stealthily search out two vases and have one hiding in the garage or in the trunk of your car ahead of time. In a pinch, a clean, empty milk carton will do. One vase will be for her – I’ll explain further down.

Have a “final surprise” ready for her to find. Ideas:

• chocolates
• a CD she’s been wanting
• stuffed animal
• tickets to a play/movie
• “coupons” you have made up to offer a massage and/or a dinner out
• a love letter
• a bath (cheat sheet for this coming soon!)
• or you can go really big and do diamond earrings

It really doesn’t matter what the surprise is at all. It’s not about the “stuff” – it will be all about you having taken your time to do something for her.

Just make sure you plan for leaving a little note/card of some sort: it can be very short, and to the point with an “I love you” – you will have already said volumes with the flowers, no need to be too wordy.

Printable checklist here

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Stage 2: The Day You Score Big

On the day you want to surprise her, get up much earlier than her, get ready to leave the house, and try to leave flowers in all her “stops” before she gets up. Leave the second vase you found at one of the last stops – maybe on the breakfast table – so that she has a place to put them all.

Put one in her car too, if she’ll be leaving the house early.

If you have small children/pets:

New things in their world look great to chew on. If you have small children or pets, leaving the flowers out willy-nilly may not be an option because the flowers could become lunch!

If this is the case, think about hiding the flowers within cupboards (the medicine cabinet where she gets her comb, in her cereal bowl in the cupboard, by the cereal, in the pantry by the bread, by the milk in the fridge, in her coat pocket in the hall closet, under her coffee cup on the table, in her briefcase/bag, hanging from the light [use thread], on the shelf where she puts her keys…)

Printable checklist here

If you can leave first (without her seeing you), great. If not, maybe try to make yourself scarce/busy until she can find most of them. Take at least two more flowers with you – leave the rest hidden at home. Make sure they stay wet – you may need another vase, or, have something handy at work.

If logistically possible, sneak into where she works while she’s having lunch and leave a flower for her to find at her station/desk/post when she returns.

If you can’t get in, find a female co-worker and “share the secret of what you want to do for your wife” with her, and see if she’ll be kind enough get it to where your wife will show up next. This co-worker will be impressed, and you will have gained an ally for anything in the future. *Make sure you get her name!!*

Get the names of everyone who helped.

Find your wife’s car (if she drove) and put the other flower under the windshield wiper.

Leave work early, get the rest of the flowers and do the reverse: leave a flower for her in every place she’ll go by. If you have quite a few left, you can even almost make a “path” to where you want her to go: right to where you are leaving the surprise.

Put the surprise and the partially-filled vase (that she started in the morning) where you want her to end up: the dining room table is a good spot. Why not the bedroom, you ask? Because then it will look like you’re *expecting* sex: and that’s a pretty good way to guarantee you won’t get it

“Hide” yourself until she gets to the surprise, then move in for a silent hug.

Hint: maybe have some tissues handy because she *might* get all teary-eyed.

If your wife doesn’t work outside the home
OR
If you need to do it on a weekend:

You can still do everything, but arrange ahead of time for her to do something “out” – like a manicure at a spa (great if your surprise is a night out with you), or ask a friend to take her out to lunch to a specific restaurant. You can call the spa ahead of time and ask the receptionist if she would hand your wife a flower (that you’d drop off ahead of time) when she comes in. Same thing with the restaurant: you can call ahead to ask the host/ess if he/she would mind getting a flower to your wife 5 minutes after she sits down. Important: get the name of anyone who helps you.

From there, same thing: put the flower on the car, then go home and do the rest.

Printable checklist here

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The Final Stage: The Day After.
If you had anyone help you along the way (a coworker, friend, spa receptionist or hostess) get them a thank you card/note ASAP. Aside from being The Right Thing To Do, it will make it easier for them to be eager and say yes if you ever need to ask a favor in the future.

That’s it! Go forth and Score.

Cheers!

Jodie

How do you do the things she wants you to do, but doesn’t tell you what or how? You come look at Jodie’s Cheat Sheets!

Throughout this blog you will find various scenarios to do yourself to earn points: and I will write things out step-by-step so they’ll be a cinch! If you have something you want to do, but are not sure how to go about it, contact me and I’ll see about making it into a Cheat Sheet!

You may find I go into very fine detail: this is not because I don’t think you can do it. Oh no! The exact opposite: I know you can, but I want to make things as effortless as possible for you. That’s my mission The less you have to sweat out the details, the more you can benefit from the moment.

Remember, none of these are guarantees that she’ll attack you in a fit of blind lust: each one scores you some points; even if things don’t go perfectly, she’ll appreciate the effort.

But isn’t that what guys are *supposed* to do?

Flowers and apologizing seem to go hand in hand; the image of the remorseful man coming
home, walking through the door offering a bouquet of truce is certainly a cliché.

However, most women will see a floral offering as a cop-out so you’ll end up in hotter water than you were before. Why? Women want their concerns acknowledged; to be shown that they were heard and understood. Showing up with flowers to extinguish anger can add fuel to the
fire because it might be seen as patronizing, dismissive.

“If my husband came back after a fight with flowers in hand, I’d make sure he watched me throw them right in the garbage,” warns Carol, a wife and mother of two, “that would simply just not be acceptable.”

What do you do instead? Every situation is different, but here are some guidelines:

* Acknowledge the anger/sadness
* Listen to what she is saying
* Repeat back to her what you think you heard
* Allow her to clarify
* Arrange to make amends
* Offer a solution if *asked* for one

and most importantly…

* SAY you’re sorry, and mean it.

So, if you’re not supposed to use flowers to say you’re sorry, when is it safe to give them?

Any happy occasion can include flowers, but you need to be careful that the flowers aren’t a substitute for effort on the ‘big ones’ like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines or Mothers’ Day for example. Flowers make a great addition to the celebration, but for the most part, shouldn’t be the gift on such important days.

Your absolute safest bet is to give flowers when they are least expected.
Trust me

Jodie

Love sometimes means choosing a different teaspoon to use to stir your coffee when you know your love likes using certain ones…